We share about our pregnancies early, and here's why.
I believe life begins at conception. I believe this tiny, 6-week old baby in my belly that's the size of a grain of rice is every bit a human, every bit a whole entire person, as 13-month old Xavier sitting next to me. Sure, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, or what they look like, but I know that they have an immortal soul that was breathed into life by the Creator of the Universe. I know He knit this baby's bones together with the most profound Love creation has ever known. That they are dearly loved by Him, and by us.
I've never experienced miscarriage, so I cannot begin to imagine what that pain is like, or speak to that experience. But I imagine that I would mourn the loss of this tiny baby the same way I've mourned the losses of other people I've known and loved. I know I wouldn't want to feel made to mourn in secret, or like miscarriage was in some way shameful or taboo. I know I would need the prayers, support and love of our tribe - those right here in my day-to-day life and also those whom I only know online.
Most of all, I don't to live my life in fear. I don't want to fear of losing this baby to overshadow the celebration of their life. I don't want the fear of what might happen tomorrow steal the excitement from today. I don't want the potential for heartbreak to take away my current joy. And I don't want to be afraid of being vulnerable, of being broken, of needing Jesus and others should we lose this baby. But most of all, I want this pregnancy, every pregnancy, this baby's life, and my life to make much of our good, good Father. I want the world to know that it is Him who sustains this life, and if He calls this soul back to Heaven, He is still good and He is still sovereign even in that unimaginable loss.
I don't know how many minutes or days or weeks we'll have with this sweet little baby. I wouldn't know that whether we shared our news at 12 weeks or 20. God is the one who gives life, and God is the one who knows when it will end, for all of us. All I know is I have this moment, right now. And I want to be nothing but joyful about this new addition to our family. I want to know that this baby's life was celebrated and rejoiced over from the moment we found out. And I don't want to sit on the news of God's goodness and the miracles He performs - because it IS a miracle, every single time.
I can understand wanting to wait to share the news, especially if you've experienced miscarriage or loss in the past. It's natural to want to cocoon yourself from the potential pain of having to then announce there will be no baby in your arms. By all means - if you want to wait, wait! I just think we women shouldn't feel pressured one way or the other. Whether you want to share at six weeks or sixteen, you should feel empowered and supported and celebrated no matter what.
So I'm sharing. And I'm celebrating. And I'm trusting in the Lord and the way He has written our story, and believing with all my heart that no matter what the story holds, He is good and Has nothing but our good in mind. And I'm praying that no matter what our story holds, he would use it for His glory.
Saint Gerard Majella, pray for us! Saint Gianna Molla, pray for us!